A parody on “must-have” office handbooks, CUBE MONKEYS: A Handbook for Surviving the Office Jungle by The Editors of CareerBuilder.com and Second City Communications (Collins; September 2007; ISBN 13: 0061350400) offers laugh-out-loud advice on how to make it through the workday. Full of irreverent humor from Second City Communications, the corporate division of the world renown comedy theatre The Second City, CUBE MONKEYS features top-ten lists, quizzes, step-by-step guides, games, and hilarious advice that will help make the longest 40 hours of the week seem a little less unbearable. A glimpse of the humor found in the book:
Top Excuses for Calling in Sick
1. “I have a stomach thing. I think I ate some bad chicken. Or else it was the wine. Or the beer. Or the Scotch. Or the Ouzo. Or the cough syrup. But I think it was the chicken.”
2. “I think I have a bug in my system. I mean a real bug. You see, I yawned when I rode my motorcycle over the weekend…”
3. “I have disco fever. I just can’t stop dancing.”
4. “I’ve got a ringing in my ears, so I can’t hear what you’re saying. If it’s okay if I take off sick just let me know. Wait, I can’t hear you. I know, if it’s okay if I take off just don’t say anything. Did you say anything? I’m just going to hang up. Is that okay? If it is…”
5. “I have a cold…beer in my hand. Psyche!”
6. “I have a computer virus. Did I ever mention I was bionic?”
7. “I’ve got one of those 24-hour things. What’s it called…oh yeah, a day off.”
8. “I have a sudden case of Attention Deficit Disorder. So I won’t be able to – look a bird – I like chocolate – oh, my show is on. Bye!”
9. “I took an overdose of placebos and I feel…Well, I don’t know how I’m feeling!”
10. “I broke my leg. But I think it will be okay by tomorrow.”
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Boss to English Dictionary: What Your Boss Says and What He Really Means
“Great job on the report” – Translation: “I’m taking credit for your work”
“This came down from the top” – Translation: “I have no real power”
“I’ll be out of the office for a couple hours with senior management, but you can reach me on my cell” – Translation: “I’m playing golf.”
“I’ll be off-site and unreachable for the rest of the afternoon” – Translation: “I’m playing golf and expect to be very, very drunk”
“This office is a family and my door is always open if you ever need to powwow with Papa Bear.” – Translation: “I’m a tool.”
Quiz : Are You the Office Party Animal?
1. Your cubicle….
a. Is always neat and tidy.
b. Has a certain homey charm.
c. Has been moved to the strip club down the street.
2. You prepare for the annual office Christmas party….
a. A few days in advance.
b. A few weeks in advance.
c. In June.
3. Your fellow employees enjoy carpooling with you because…
a. You always pay for gas.
b. You make friendly chit-chat.
c. It invariably results in a spontaneous trip to Tijuana
4. Your 401K…
a. Is your retirement fund.
b. Is being saved for your kids’ education.
c. Has already been used for keg money.
Offering some of best of office humor for those lost in the corporate jungle, CUBE MONKEYS is a great gift for the office grab bag, coworker’s birthday, and the dreaded office holiday party.
About the Authors
CAREERBUILDER.com, America’s largest online job site, has more than 22 million unique visitors per month and more than 1.5 million jobs. CareerBuilder.com powers the job search centers for more than 1,000 partners, including 150 newspapers.
SECOND CITY COMMUNICATIONS, is the corporate division of The Second City, Chicago’s famous comedy theatre which launched the careers of some of the world’s best-known comic greats.
About the Book
TITLE: CUBE MONKEYS: A Handbook to Surviving the Office Jungle
AUTHORS: Editors of CareerBuilder.com and Second City Communications
PUBLICATION DATE: September 1, 2007
PRICE: $13.95 ($17.50 Can.)
ISBN 13: 9780061350405
Harper Collins Media Contact:
CareerBuilder Media Contact
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